More of The Same Shit

Well it happened.

I mean nothing happened. I get crickets. Clearly I'm not worth the time, hmmmm. But it is what I expect. Its hard to throw yourself out there to get nothing or one word responses. I tried to break through her surface, to nothing. All in all, just skin level fake responses. Why even bother seeking me out to just shit on the whole exchange. I cant honestly say or know for sure but all I can think is that it all must be a validation thing. I'll never understand this stuff. 

Relationships are all about communication. If shes not texting back after 4 days and leaves you on read, yeah I'm sure she could care less. All I get are excuses. I would like her to know that one day she will mature and understand that all of it is about communicating. How can you even start and continue something if you're a wall. It's all about give and take. I know why I am single but I'd want her to know that I also know why shes single too. I have hit the point where lying serves no purpose. I know what I want and I am openly truthful about who I am and how I feel. I only wish she were the same. 

But all I get is silence. Get a backbone! I am an adult and I'd rather have a cut end then a ghost. Grow up! If you wanted this then you would put in the effort rather then make shitty excuses. 

Time and time again I'm discarded. I swirl in this pit hoping to just catch alittle light. Is that so wrong? I know I don't deserve it but I would still like to be happy. I know it may never come from finding someone. They say to find happiness in yourself first. I'm not sure I am made that way. I accept and understand who I am but I believe that's not what drives me towards any type of happiness.

I could take this opportunity to have some fun though. Since the exchange is such a trainwreck I could say whatever I want until I am blocked or told to stop. I mean that would get a real response. What do I have to loose, aside from maturity? I mean she did waste three weeks of my life. I can be super petty, but I'll probably take the high road unfortunately.