You Left Me

You left me.

What else could I expect. It's the usual. why could you be any different. It's sad that it's all I've come to know. I dont feel the shock, only the slow sharp pain. It destroys my heart slowly creeping into my brain. The pain forever changes me, shaping me into something new altogether. This new me I come to accept, but do I even have a choice.

I never wanted this, yet here I am. You left me to sink in that hole. Why did you let go? I had given it all, I had stopped you from sinking countless times. I had pulled you from it's depths. I made you strong.

In a moment of weakness I began to sink. I called for you and you came running. As I sank you held me there waiting for me to regain my strength. I will never forget that moment, as your expression changed from concern to pure emptiness. In that moment I knew it was all a sham. You were waiting for me to sink all along. You no longer believed I was strong enough for you.

I watched you walk away as I sank faster and faster. The pain filling me up, and when I fell under I could only see black. I did not panic as i sank further. Instead i felt calm. I began to embrace the black. I let it fill me slowly mixing with my pain. The pain and the darkness, it broke me down. I reformed into something new out of spite. From my anger and my will I became reforged, the pain and emptiness were now apart of me.

I never wanted this. You took the best parts of me. You left me to break and reform into this. But with pure will my strength had returned and I emergerd from that hole. I was made stronger, hollow inside and rigged outside.

Did you win? No you didn't. As I wondered around I heard stories of your slow disintegration. I never understood it. Why would you let me go? Why would you let go of the one thing keeping your head above the water?